Sun Dec 4
I am down the ladder again!
When my first appointment didn't show up, I was determined not to complaint...
And I didn't.
But when this other guy came in and started bulling me,
I went %8#/:*)&@$!&#* in my head... Yes, I mumbled a bunch of complaints!
I felt threatened and uncomfortable, but I tried to get over it.
Before going to bed, I prayed and I wrote more gratitude in my journal.
Nevertheless, I woke up during the night full of fear and wanting to resign the project.
After a couple of hours of agony, I had to pray again. What clearly came to me, was to go up higher.
My prayer said, it wasn't about the story. My story. It was about GOD.
I dropped my problem right then, and I contemplated how big my God is.
The higher views gave me a sense of peace that put me back to sleep.
I am grateful for the higher views!
Good for you - hearing "Go up higher" and working through this. I like to think about David and Goliath in these situations. What was David thinking down to his core? He was thinking about "God is All. There is One God. One. And that God is not Goliath!" this helped him feel safe and secure. "One with God is a majority.". Bless you. :). Keep up the great work.
ReplyDeleteI just don't think that getting angry at someone counts as complaining, unless you were complaining about it. I mean, you did your best to pray and go up higher and heal this situation. So I just don't see how this makes you "down the ladder" again. Complaining, to me, is about "oh man, the light is red. ... why do i have to wait in traffic .... oh, i hate this shirt, it doesn't fit me any more..... how come we're out of milk again? we go through milk so fast and now i have to go get some ..." complaining, to me, is about the petty junk we should instead be grateful for.
ReplyDeleteFor instance: Be grateful to have a car instead of complaining that you're stuck at a red light. Be grateful you have clothing and that if this one doesn't fit, it will bless someone else that you donate it to .... be grateful that you can afford milk instead of complaining that it's out all the time.
So, I just honestly don't see this one as complaining. I haven't read much of the blog, but I will go back & give it an honest look to see if perhaps you've just been too hard on yourself in other ways too.
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